Pardon moi, Raw Food Nerd has been on hiatus for the last two weeks. It's that time again, i.e. better planned upheaval -- except in Season 2 of Alysha: This Is Your Life I've actually got a well-mapped and finalized plan.
I'm moving back home, to New York City- right where I belong. I'll be resuming my old job (the one that so easily filled the emptiness in my heart and gave me purpose).
I feel like a ginormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders; like I can breathe again. Given the circumstances, I've been quite successful in California. However, since the moment my feet (or our tires, whatev) planted themselves in this Sunny State I've had an unquenchable feeling of regret. (I cried all the way from LA to The OC the day we arrived...and for several days after...) We left everything, everything behind. And while at first it seemed exciting, spontaneous, new - once the realization that this was permanent and not a three week vacation set it, it became even more apparent that perhaps I had made quite the mistake.
And then I realized I'd be living in the OC and not LA and my heart sunk a whole lot more. This was not how I envisioned my new California lifestyle. Wilkes-Mesa anyone?
And I'd have to fly home for Christmas every year...
And I'd have to spend Thanksgiving in CA...
And Christmas would be the only time I would see my family because it is so expensive to fly...
And working for yourself is never consistent...
The list goes on...
California never felt like "home", but more like a self-actualization of who I really was. (Obviously, I'm not the bohemian nomadic type who can just pick up and move without a second thought.)
Unfortunately, there is one MASSIVE con to all of this: Kevin has to stay here for another eight months to finish his masters. The very thought is gut-wrenching and physically painful. We've been together going on seven years and in that time we've spent, at most, five days apart. Needless to say, other than planning and getting mine and Kev's shimmelz together (he's moving into on campus housing, etc.) this is the reason for my hiatus.
It's been a rather emotional time as September is steadfastly approaching; everything is changing once again and neither of us in all our sentimentality take well to change (though you'd never know it). It's hard to picture my day to day life without Kev. It's hard to picture New York itsef without Kev...
We're bothing taking it pretty hard and I haven't felt much like doing anything but hiberating.
Yet, in my heart of hearts I know this is what I have to do...what I really want to do.
Hi, my name is Alysha and I'm in a Bi-Costal Long Distance Relationship. Oye vey!
Anyway, Raw Food Nerd is up and running again; we'll be back with regular scheduled blogging tomorrow-- pictures and all!
Oh how heart wrenching! I am in a similar situation as I want to be back on the east but my husband has a job here. I am just going to go with being patient and hope something opens up for him on the east coast soon. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with everything and the move. I hope everything works out for you :)
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Oh, I feel for you, for I really do. This moving home thing must be in the air because I've been feeling an insane magnetic pull to move back to my family in Oregon. They're only one state away, I can't imagine how you must feel being all the way across the country. But I'm glad you're following your heart and going back to your people and the job you love. Also happy for you that K will be following shortly after. Best wishes to you!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so sorry Alysha. Eight months is a LONG time to be apart. I couldn't imagine going thru that myself but knowing it was temporary would help me. On the other hand, I'm so glad you're moving "forward" by moving back home. Yay for family and for happiness! Hang in there! Soon you'll be together in a place you call home. :)
ReplyDeleteAwww, thank you so much everyone. Reading this stuff makes me feel a lot better! We'll be flying back and forth so hopefully it won't be too bad, but when you've never gone more than five days of not seeing someone and then all of a sudden it's two or three weeks or even a month -- the very thought is just so intimidating. However, I am happy to be moving back to New York, I know it's where I belong..now I only have to hope Kev can get a job in NYC after he graduates or else we are in for another long year of long distance. Once again, thanks for all the sweet words!
ReplyDeleteWow, girlie...HUGS!!! Sounds like you guys have some great plans to keep in touch, tho'. I'm sure a few visits will help ease some of the time away. Hopefully, the eight months won't be as grueling as one might think and you guys will be in each others arms forever in NYC; before ya know it! + with your upcoming wedding ... so much going on for you both! Hope to visit NY someday and when I do I'd like to meet The Raw Food Nerd. Hope you're having a marvy week, chica! Sending lots of warmth and sunshine your way! ;D
ReplyDeleteinteresting recipes you got there!! checkout my blog when u get a chance
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